At the start of this Mercury retrograde, I had a quarrel with my mother. We have not talk to each other yet since.
Since then, I found myself kept rethink about my past, my childhood - about me and her. And I'm able to put pieces of puzzles together (last time I never did) and hence got a clearer picture what's happening. But because of this, I'm very upset and angry of how she make use of me and treat me like dirt. I find my emotions very unstoppable. I don't like this way but I could not stop it. couldn't stop thinking about it. couldn't stop all the flashbacks- it just kept running through in my head EVERY DAY. Result? tears + tears + tears + I couldn't sleep well. Reason? I came to realise I'm just a piece of chess to her. Believe me, I'm trying very very hard to keep my emotions to keep in dam but it still overflows at times...
I want justify actions but I can't think of any good one yet because that's my mom. But I felt I'm cruel to myself if I don't do any justification for myself. My son thinks I'm too radical in thoughts but I feel its fair and logical...
Now I kept reconsidering how I should treat her in the future.
Nay I ask is this part of Mercury retrograde effect? or was it just me? Will my decision stay? I don't know about myself now...
After reading some threads, I understand that emotions are related to Pluto and moon. Hmmm.
I have Moon conjunct Pluto, libra moon and libra pluto in house 7.